Are you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, or worn out?
Is “The Voice In The Head” telling you that you need to do more?
Do you think you need to do everything today?
Do you have too much to do and not enough time to do it?

You are driven by “The Doer” if you answered “Yes” to any of these questions.

Many of us have what I call “The Doer”. This is the perception that we have of ourselves that we are not doing enough. We have unrealistic expectations that we have to complete everything on our ‘to-do’ list today. We are never satisfied by how much we get done. “The Doer” may be satisfied for a few moments or perhaps a few days, but then it eventually pulls out the whip and demands we do more.

“The Doer” can cause a person to behave or react in two ways:

1. Over-do: This may look like someone who is always busy and on the go. This person has a million projects and tasks going on at once. The person may feel scattered and may never actually complete anything or may complete many things. The person may feel anxious most of the time and complete the project or task only to say “Ok, what’s next”?!

2. Never-do: This may look like someone who procrastinates or doesn’t complete the project or task at hand. The person will feel overwhelmed by the strong impulse of “The Doer” and they will mentally freeze or become mentally paralyzed. A person may also become depressed from overwhelm.

Both over-doing and never-doing exhausts our time and energy and negatively affects our health.
So how can we stop “The Doer”? First, we must understand what drives “The Doer”. The motivating factors are fear and the need for approval and worth. We are conditioned by our culture, society, and family to believe the quantity of how much we “do” is the measure of our worth.

Myth: Increased Doing = Increased Worth.

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we are worth nothing unless we work hard and produce results (such as money, etc.). We do this to receive approval and therefore feel more worthy. Sadly, it’s never enough.

Whether “The Doer” is driving you to over-do or you are stuck in paralysis, the following exercise will help you to stop the “The Doer” in its tracks:

1. Stop – Literally stop and close your eyes. Once you become aware of the behavior, simply stop and acknowledge it (Example: “I know I am over-doing to feel worthy”).
2. Breathe – Turn your attention to your breath and follow the breath in and out of the body until you feel centered and calm.
3. Ask – Ask silently or out loud, “What do I need to do now”? or “What action do I need to take now”?
4. Listen – Your inner guidance will tell you within seconds.
5. Act in Awareness – Whether you feel you need to take a nap, write, go to the store, etc.; Act and stay present with what you are doing.

*Beware! “The Doer” may not like your newfound awareness or it may try to second guess your newfound awareness. “The Doer” may even derail your efforts and sabotage your progress. When you become aware of this, simply stop and say to yourself, “I hear you, “Doer”, but we are going to finish this task right now. (We all talk to ourselves, so just talk to yourself with awareness).

Remember this is a process and it will take some time to control or tame this aspect of yourself. It is a deeply ingrained behavior and takes time to work through. Be gentle! This is an aspect of yourself that has served a purpose by acting as a coping mechanism to calm your fears.

Click Here to listen to a therapeutic meditation practice that will help you to work with, understand, and deeply heal “The Doer” in you.