Hello, I’m Tanya Penny. In this post we will be focusing on key #5 of the Vibrant Body and Abundant Life Blueprint – Stress & Life Balance. If you haven’t signed-up to learn about all 10 keys yet, you can receive the Blueprint Guide, audio lesson and Guided Therapeutic Meditation Practice by clicking here.
I believe that stress is the number one cause and progression of disease and illness. Which is why it is so important to talk about and then shift.
Let’s start with the 3 biggest things that cause us stress- The 3 T’s: Thoughts, Toxins and Traumas.
The first T is our Thoughts. If you’ve done any work with me before or have been in my community for awhile, I’m sure that you’ve heard me talk about the 3P’s. The first P is Perfection– when we tell ourselves that we have to do it perfectly, we have to do it and get it right, can’t make mistakes… and all of those variations. It can also cause us to overdo, we beat up on ourselves mentally and that causes us to push ourselves too hard physically. The second P is People Pleasing– Thoughts or beliefs that have to do with making other people happy, fixing other people’s problems, care-taking or carrying other people (emotionally, physically and/or financially), doing things because we think we have to, or so they won’t get mad at us, etc. The third 3P is Pretending to be Superwoman– Thoughts and beliefs that cause us to act in Superwoman ways, thinking you have to do it all, do it alone, can’t ask for support, take care of everybody else, responsible for everyone else. Remember that our thoughts and beliefs, specifically the ones that are related to the 3P’s, cause us to behave and/or act in certain ways. Just the beliefs themselves cause a lot of anxiety, overwhelm and stress but then it causes us to act in ways that create even more stress.
The second T is Toxins. Food can have toxins, as well as environmental toxins. And, I want to talk about a few more toxins that you may not have considered. If you are staying in a relationship that is unfulfilling, or maybe even be abusive, that can create toxins- physically, emotionally and/or mentally. If you’re staying in a job that is unfulfilling, that can be toxic to your system. Many of us also stuff our emotions- anger, sadness, guilt, shame, fear, etc. If we continue to hold onto them they also become toxic or stressful to our system.
The third T is Trauma. Whether it be a recent trauma or something that happened thirty or even fifty years ago. A trauma could be an accident, abuse, it could be being made fun of at school. Many of us think that because it happened a long time ago that we are over it. It can still be creating stress in your system if it isn’t fully resolved or healed. If you haven’t fully addressed it, the emotions and the thoughts/beliefs that were created can still be wreaking havoc and creating stress in your system.
Moving into tips and tools
1) Reflect and write on the following:
What might be an underlying cause(s) to the stress I seem to be experiencing (physically, mentally, emotionally)? Is it my thoughts related to the 3P’s, and if so, which one? Take a few minutes to write them down. Do I have past trauma? What toxins do I have in my life? Is my job toxic to me? Are there people in my life that are putting me down or just have really negative energy? People I feel drained by after spending time with them? They might be overtly abusive, verbally/physically or it can be real subtle, manipulation, very negative, etc. Take a few moments to reflect and write with compassion and curiosity. You’re not beating yourself up, you’re not making yourself wrong, just becoming aware of what is causing your stress.
The 3P’s also cause us to fall “out of balance” with work, rest and play. Me time versus We time. Which of the things above are causing me to fall out of balance? Are you working too much? I’m not just talking about your job, I’m talking about everything outside of your job as well: taking care of the family, chores, friends, volunteering… ”work” is anything that is considered doing, anything that takes away from you having enough rest, healing or play time. A lot of my clients have enough play too, but what they’re really lacking in is rest, or healing time. Balance is not something that we acquire one time and then it just stays that way forever. What I need one day to be balances might be different than what I need the next day.
2) Take some time to connect with yourself every morning. At least ten to twenty minutes. Ask yourself: what do I really need today to be in balance? To feel and have less stress, more balance and a sense of peace in my life? Do I need to let go of some things today? Do I need to adjust my schedule? Do I need to ask for more support? What does that look like for me today? What do I need to feel more balanced and be less stressed? It’s going to be different every day. That means some days I wake up and my guidance tells me that I might need more space in my schedule and do less work, I need to move some clients, I need to move a project. Really giving youself permission to do that, letting go of perfection.
3) Make time for rest and play daily. Really taking an honest look at your schedule and carving out time for rest and play every day. I know a lot of you superwomen/men out there are thinking you have so much to do… there are a lot of have to’s and should’s that are causing you to be stressed, do too much and they’re just not true. Who says you have to do this? Who says you should do this? Really taking the time to look at that and calling bullshit on the stuff that really isn’t true for you anymore.
4) Use a guided Therapeutic Meditation Practice daily. I recommend to use it midday and/or after work – both if you feel you have a lot of stress OR you have an illness or negative symptoms. Also use it as you fall asleep at bedtime. What I have found is that releasing stress midday (mentally/physically and emotionally) is really important. Remember that these guided practices also help you to shift those thoughts and beliefs we were talking about earlier that are related to the 3P’s, that cause you to overdo, fall into perfection and get stuck in the people pleasing. They also help you release any “toxic” emotions you’ve been holding onto and help you to heal past trauma. They really help you to connect with yourself and get guidance from your Something Bigger. Stress is supposed to be released from our body and mind as we sleep at night, so if you’re not sleeping well, these practices will help you to sleep better and release more stress too. Find a sample guided therapeutic meditation practice here.
Carve out 5-30 minutes a day to use the simple tips and tools above. Progress not perfection. Then when you are ready, find more support below.
xoxo Tanya 🙂