For whatever reason, I’m being guided to share with you more deeply today about my healing journey, my journey back to remembering me. Sharing deeply is something I usually reserve for my clients, as it helps them to know that even coaches/healers continue to have these days where “old stuff” comes up to be healed on a deeper layer/level. I often get asked if it will ever end/be done…I don’t know as I am still on that journey myself.
Yesterday I woke up feeling awful– physically, mentally, and emotionally. I had an ache in my chest (grief), a heaviness in my abdomen/3rd chakra area (self-worth or lack of), and a dark mood/depression. I knew that I had to clear my schedule and declare it a “healing day”, which is not always easy for my recovering workaholic/perfectionist (I did check in with a friend and get permission to do so). 🙂
I believe this new layer came up for healing when I had a powerful myofascial release session last Friday. And because it was ready to be addressed/healed. During the session my healer said she was drawn to my ears and placed a finger gently in each ear, after I gave her permission. After a few seconds tears began to stream from my eyes, and then memories: the earaches/problems I had as a child, the yelling/arguing of my parents, me hiding in a closet/terrified. If you look up ear problems in the Louise Hay book “Heal Your Body” it says pretty much the same. Since then I began having bad dreams/disturbed sleep, headaches, horrible allergies (something I had as a child), and feeling bouts of unexplained sadness (also something I often had in my past).
So when I woke up yesterday feeling awful, I knew it was time to allow the past to come up to be healed, again. I journaled what I was feeling and the past memories and allowed myself to cry. I was then guided to call my mom and ask questions about my past ( I don;t remember a lot of my childhood), which in itself was scary and a piece of healing our relationship. After I was exhausted so did a T.M.P. and fell into a deep sleep. I was gentle and nurturing with this part of me the rest of the day. Healing happens in divine time, takes patience, and requires self-compassion.
I believe that many of us as children/teens have had painful experiences that we did not know how to deal with/feel, and therefore repressed. Due to these experiences we (our ego) also took on beliefs/stories about ourselves, relationships, and the world (not good enough/important, the world is not safe, I can’t trust others, and many more) that impact what we do/say/create in our lives everyday and can keep us from being who we really are. Healing the past is necessary to fully being who we are here to be, living our purpose, and receiving abundance in all areas of our lives (love, health, money, time, guidance).
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