Most of us struggle with setting and keeping healthy boundaries with ourselves and others. This includes acknowledging and communicating your wants, needs and desires and then taking actions to make sure they happen. We often avoid acknowledging what they are because we fear then having to communicate and act on them.
Perhaps you know and communicate them but then don’t take action or stick up for yourself when they are “broken”. Do you allow others to treat you in ways (say or do) that are not honoring or loving of you? We teach others how to treat us (by our self-talk and actions). If someone treats us “poorly” and you don’t stick up for yourself then why would they change (examples: talks down to us, makes fun of us, shows up late (again and again))?
Why do we struggle with boundaries? Because you were likely not taught how to set and keep healthy boundaries growing up. Maybe you didn’t see this modeled in your household or you may have seen a parent try and get “hurt”. So we need to learn and have the courage to practice, practice, practice.
Do you have any bogus boundary beliefs? ALL of us do. Examples of the most common: I have to put up with unkind words/behaviors because they are family/friends, It is selfish to ask or make time for what I want/desire, It’s my job to fix or make others happy, I can’t stick up for myself or I’ll lose money or love. Remember our beliefs drive our actions (or lack of) and will either support us or hold us back from setting/keeping healthy boundaries. Awareness is the first key to changing these. Want more support? Keep reading!
Tips, Tools, & Resources For Healthy Boundaries:
- Listen to Boundary Setting “Secret #1” & Get all “5 Secrets To Stay Sane, Healthy & Happy” HERE
- Get Ultimate support from ME in the “Holiday Toolkit” program!
- Reflection #1 Did you see your parents set and keep healthy boundaries with themselves and others?
- Reflection #2 Who do you have a hard time setting/keeping boundaries with? What areas? Why?
- Reflection #3 Do you struggle with a case of “The Should’s”? This is one of the biggest boundary snatchers there is. Listen to Secret #1 above to learn more and release the should’s!
- Reflection #4 What “bogus boundaries” do you have that are keeping you from setting/keeping healthy boundaries with yourself and others?